The Archbishop And The Porter
Saturday February 20, 2010
By Merari Alomele
MANY years back it was reported that most of
the girls in a certain secondary school in Sikaman had become hysterical and were behaving strangely.
Some were said to be laughing for no apparent reason and others were screaming and generally going haywire.
May be the girls suffered from mass hysteria. It might be interpreted as collective malady if not collective ‘stupidity’, whichever is appropriate.
The good thing about the syndrome was that after a while, it disappeared and the girls resumed their normal composure, demeanour and of course sanity.
Laughing is good and said to be contagious, but when over a hundred girls of different sizes and shapes, tall and short start laughing uncontrollably in cacophonic symphony all day long, it can make school authorities feel dizzy.
What explanation will they give to parents for the laughing-gas syndrome that has afflicted their beloved daughters?
At another time, girls in another school started itching all over their bodies. Some had to strip to get their hands to the itchy spots and they scratched like hell.
Comfortable sleep was well nigh impossible. I remember some health authorities attributing it to an invasion of the school by a certain breed of butterflies.
But that was illogical, at least to a point. It was a mixed school, so why didn’t the boys itch?
I don’t know whether there would come a day when girls in a school will become afflicted with a super-dance syndrome and turn the classroom into a lively combo jamboree.
Teachers can only run for cover or watch from a distance, whichever will be more intriguing or satisfy their curiosity better.
It is good that boys are usually not afflicted with mass syndromes. If it happened, it cannot be predicted how the situation will turn out.
The collective madness of boys can be more challenging. They might decide to add a sexual twist to their common insanity and pay a midnight visit to the girls and there will be a ‘scatter’!
I remember those days when there were inter-schools and some disgruntled schools decided to turn the sports stadia into battle fields.
Of course, the boys had their fair share of slaps, double-slaps and buttings, but it was the girls who suffered most.
Some unscrupulous boys turned their anger on the girls and did very unseemly things to them. That is why we should always pray that boys do not suffer mass syndromes, especially bordering on insanity or a semblance of it.
Of course, there are instances where boys in boys’ schools suffer things like diarrhoea because their meals were not properly cooked.
They besieged the lavatories and had to fight over toilet bowls and nearby pit-latrines.
Of course some had to go free-range. A few could not go far before the diarrhoea took hold in earnest and forced them to obey the force of nature. It was clearly a disaster.
Incidentally, such incidents happened in schools that did not have any permanent supply of water and the entire compound became such a perfumery with all kinds of wonderful lavendar.
Now, check out what happened to students of Archbishop Porters School in Takoradi. I’m sure the girls ate something unwholesome in the dining hall and developed several painful conditions, not without diarrhoea. Over 140 ended up in hospital.
I hear the school’s head was talking about contaminated shito but later changed her mind, because it had no sense of logic or good rationalisation.
If what was rumoured is true, does it mean that all the shito brought from the various homes had gone rancid?
There was also the “rice and groundnut soup” theory that might be a possibility.
There are some social commentators who claim they are experts in groundnut soup, its culinary delights and alimentary dangers. I’m sure some of them have advance diplomas in groundnut soup preparation and might as well have recipes for face-the-wall.
Whatever it is, the affected girls suffered greatly and the school authorities later had to order a by-force mid-term for parents to sort out their children. That was a relief after hours and days of torment of the alimentary canal, headaches and bodily pains.
It has often been the case that when ugly things happen in schools some school authorities try to protect themselves or blame others for their lapses. It is unprofessional and unbecoming of some school heads who should know better.
There have been instances when some male teachers in a school were abusing female students and when the matter came up, the culprits were either hastily transferred or protected from the law.
That, on the part of the school authorities, was patently criminal because they condoned wrongdoing and encouraged vice.
School authorities must be careful the way they handle complaints against teachers and anybody who does anything untoward to harm school children or disturb their studies.
They must stop shielding themselves and their colleagues because it smacks of irresponsibility. It is also an attempt to subvert justice and should not be countenanced under any circumstances.
I’m still wondering what steps the authorities of Archbishop Porters are taking to ensure that students do not suffer from such terrible illness again.
If they have not yet been able to identify the cause of the problem and made sure that it will not re-occur, then the students better stay at home.
It has been sad enough for everybody.
It must not be allowed to further degenerate into tragedy.
Email: merarix2001@yahoo.co.uk Website: merarialomele.com
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Sikaman Palava
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